Embracing Independence in a new world

In a world where people are on a constant quest for identity, many of us wait for some grand, omnipresent force to unlock our true potential. But life isn't about waiting to be discovered. It’s about discovering ourselves.

For me, being independent means feeling happy and excited in my own skin. But does that mean I must always stay the same, without room for growth? Absolutely not. From childhood, we adapt to our environment—at home, at school, and in society. We rely on others to guide us on what’s right and wrong, which shapes our thinking. Over time, this dependency can prevent us from fully realizing who we are. In trying to fit in with the world's expectations, we can lose the space to grow in our own way

We become so comfortable with dependency that we rarely challenge ourselves unless we're forced to. As children, we were fearless learners—figuring out how to walk, talk, and experiment. But growing up means fitting into certain norms, which limits the range of our thinking. 

Take everyday life, for instance. Whether it’s cooking, household chores, or minor repairs, help is usually just a call away. It’s easy to get accustomed to others doing these things for us, and this comfort makes us reluctant to try harder. But true independence comes when we step away from this reliance and realize we can survive even the hardest situations—maybe even thrive in them.

At one point, you begin to add value by interconnecting with others, becoming part of a community or group. But too often, even in those scenarios, a more dominant thinker takes the lead, making us forget our own voice. To me, independence means claiming the power over my own life—whether personal or professional. Living in a new country, I've realized that every challenge I face, every situation that pushes me out of my comfort zone, is an opportunity to break my own boundaries and create new memories.

One of my early personal victories was taking the public bus by myself after years of never having to do so. What might seem like a small step to others felt like a huge leap for me. I also began traveling beyond my hometown, enjoying the beauty of new places and learning to plan my own journeys. Those experiences helped me grow, but they were only the beginning of my adventure into self-reliance.

Moving to a new country has forced me to pick up life skills I once avoided, like washing utensils and clothes. These may seem trivial, but when you’ve been pampered or shielded from these responsibilities for so long, it feels like an achievement to handle them yourself. Armed with hand cream and a lot of patience, I tackled these tasks—and learned that basic survival skills are crucial.

One memorable moment came when my kitchen sink’s faucet malfunctioned. In the past, I’d call a handyman. This time, I realized there was no one but me to fix it. After several failed attempts, a breakdown, and eventually some solid advice from Reddit, I managed to get the hose working again. Was it messy? Yes. Was it frustrating? Absolutely. But in that small victory, I felt a surge of pride. It reminded me that I am capable of taking care of myself, even in unfamiliar territory.

Sometimes, it’s uncomfortable to ask for help, especially from acquaintances who have their own priorities. You fear rejection or the feeling of being a burden. But as I faced these challenges alone, I began to trust myself more. The satisfaction of fixing things on my own—even in front of others—gave me confidence and a sense of accomplishment.

The journey of independence is far from over. As a woman in a new country, I’m constantly learning, constantly adapting. Each challenge, whether fixing a leaky faucet or navigating a new city, teaches me something new about myself. It’s about recognizing that while people may come into our lives to help us, it’s ultimately up to us to take control of our own growth.

Being independent is about finding comfort in the unknown. We are born alone, we survive alone, and we die alone. Along the way, we meet co-passengers—some who help us become stronger, and others who make us dependent on them. It’s up to us to decide what we need to thrive. In this grey zone, where clear answers are hard to find, we learn to create our own path.

So here I am, embracing my independence in a new country. The road ahead is filled with unknowns, but each step I take reminds me of my strength and my ability to grow. And in the end, that’s what independence is all about: not waiting for a miracle to change us, but forging our own way forward.